Krablr nets new leadership

News just in: We’re getting reports the board of Krablr has voted overwhelmingly to jettison the sole remaining founder, Wilson Poney, and install an interim CFO to take the company in a new old direction.

“We’re going to make Krablr great again,” said chairman of the board, Goldie Seamann. “We’re not 100% sure what’s been going on around here but the board is unanimous in agreement that Krablr should return to its roots in the fishing industry to provide strong value to stakeholders and its ecosystem.”

“No more ICOs, no more microdosing podcast retreats flirting with white supremacy. Just good, old clean business,” he added.

Seamann, a former consult with McKinsey, KPMG and OMFG, said the board believes the shell of the Krablr brand can still be salvaged — in spite of its disastrous ICO last year which saw an estimated $260M worth of ‘Krabcoin’ vanish without trace. The company is said to be in negotiations to offload its Krab.coin arm, developed specifically for the ICO, for a bargain price of around a dozen Dentacoins. It is also working to offload the assets of a previously developed messaging app to a “major social network” in order to extend its cash runway.

No one has seen Poney for months either.

“We believe there are exciting opportunities for Krablr to develop financial services for emerging markets — like offering loans to SMEs, as Well as micro-insurance, cross-border remittance payments and other financial services to support those who are actually doing the fishing,” added Seamann.

Developing…